Monday, February 3, 2014

Voicemail and His Voice.

When I need to talk to You, I fall to my knees and can't wait a minute to open my heart to you. I'm usually desperate. And You bend Your ear to it, as if You couldn't tell the story far better Yourself. 

I was so excited to share something with a friend today. Aching, bursting. And after too many days of not calling, not enough reason to, suddenly today it killed me that her phone just hummed until the voice mail clicked on. The difference between words being left unsaid or not, is in the needing to speak them. 

Sometimes my needs are cumbersome and weighty, and sometimes, like today-- my need was a burning desire to share joy. Either end is a tipping of the mundane. 

How can I make my whole life a conversation-- with Him? For He is an unloading-the-dishwasher-type of Friend, but I feed Him with the pot-roast-dinners-talk, and we stay so one-type-conversationed. And I miss Him in all the other ways He is. He isn't mundane. But He makes my mundane not mundane either. Because He cares about it.

And He doesn't have to knock at my door, drink coffee, and talk for two hours to make me feel less lonely. He can whisper to my heart and do the work in a breath. He can do it over a pile of laundry. If I let my words need speaking. If He is what's urgent. Not me. Otherwise, I let words go unsaid.

But He says my whole life is a conversation. To Him.  
"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7  

Together in Grace,

Because He made my life, It's not about my life, but about my life with Him. About sharing it. And it's worth it to Him. It was worth dying for.

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