When Questions become Answers.

A crowning head of white hair adorns a very loved and beautiful grandmothery woman at our church. Her name is Betty. Pearls of Miss Betty’s wisdom are cherished. I sat next to her at a lady’s retreat a couple years ago. Her words were of worth, and I want to extend the white glossy beads, before I too forget.

She shared of her experience of attending college during the second World War. Her time was lent in a hospital, working as a nurses aid of sorts, caring for patients. The head of the hospital held a training conference for them, which she attended. He spoke to them of counseling. He said, often in this line of work will someone ask you for help, and they will ask, “What should I do?”

He suggested that many times the answer to life's questions would seem easy, obvious. It would be easy for his staff to want to “tell” someone exactly what should be done and how. But he taught them how little this never really helps. He said, to truly help someone, you must wisely help them to see the truth with their own eyes. Miss Betty likened this to talking with a teenager who will turn a deaf ear at being preached at. She said the secret to Godly counsel is in prayer and wise, thoughtful questions. She instructed that I could ask my blathering little daughter if she would rather be sorry for herself? Or, fix the problem? The choice, the decision to do the right thing then becomes our own. And the action that follows is done of our own accord. With questions, I am training them, encouraging their own decision process for the next time they find themselves in a similar situation.

Asking questions leaves room for God to do the talking.

Miss Betty shared humbly and sweetly that when someone comes to her, in need or want of advice, she must first truly listen. And then she must pray, and ask God in His wisdom to help her direct questions that allow for the one who needs help to reach a conclusion of truth and right thinking on their own. There is a gentleness to this. Compassion is nothing, if not gentle.

Seeing God’s truth with our own eyes will always be far more beautiful than any canvas others may paint for us.

I diligently applied this to my mothering for a while afterward—and like much else I learn, often I forget, and the habit dies.  I would ask— Why did that make you angry? What do you think you should do to fix this problem? What would please the Lord in this situation? How would you want to be treated?

The Lord brought her wisdom back to mind recently when I found myself in need of counsel. Found myself unheard; with answers that didn’t speak to my questions. Her pearl was worth remembering. So for today, and prayerfully many of my tomorrows, I will listen before I answer. I will ask my children questions before I advise. And I will ask myself if I am listening to Him, His words, or merely the sound of my own voice?

 

                                                  Sometimes the only way to help, is to reach for God's.

               For our best advice has very little to do with our own wisdom, 

and everything to do with His.

James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.

1 Corinthians 2:¹³ This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words

Psalms 119: ³⁴ Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law
   and obey it with all my heart. ³⁵ Direct me in the path of your commands,
   for there I find delight. ³⁶ Turn my heart toward your statutes
   and not toward selfish gain.

John 16: ¹³ But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. ¹⁵ All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”

John 14: ²⁵ “All this I have spoken while still with you. ²⁶ But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.