A GPS-Finding-the-Way-to-My-Heart Romance

Day 17 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge.

I’m packing, loading for a trip. I, myself and me, planning on taking four children on a near 2,000 mile trek, alone. I wonder as I fold up tiny items of clothing into four open mouthed suitcases: Blue’s Clues, Disney princess, why I am leaving my earthly protector? It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I’m already feeling fond. And he takes me aside, he has a gift— he places a new pink and black purse fitted over a gps in my hands. I guess he wanted to be sure I could find my way home. This was probably the best gift a girl like me could be given, a girl who knows nothing more then up and down. My last gps, my sadly broken gps, he had felt was inadequate. I need a gps for dummies with commands like, “Your other right.” “Turn left after the light turns green,” and “Turn here- right here, you’re passing your exit!” I felt very loved. It was a good gift. I feel, in a way, that his protection is coming with me on my journey. His heart was to make sure his family would be safe.

God is a good gift giver. He has more than the “five love languages.” His love is tangible. Tangible is concrete—undeniable. Matthew 7:⁷ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. ⁸For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ⁹Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? ¹¹If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

Ask for strength, and He gives me wings as eagles. Ask for salvation and He gives me His son. Ask for forgiveness and He gives me paradise. He gives good gifts. His gifts come from a heart of love. 

My day 21 of romance has come and gone. While, day 14 was an amazing surprise weekend getaway, day “21” has shown itself in unexpected ways. Yesterday, day 21 was a pillar-of-light-device for me to follow through the wilderness. Yesterday, love was tangible, a good gift. Behind any meaningful gift are well planned thoughts. Giving well requires study. I must seek to know the receiver’s heart, know their likes, dislikes—know their passions. And the intimacy of knowing and being known is romance.

When my new husband was deployed to Japan, he sent me a box of gifts. One of these “treasures” (note sarcasm,  : ) was a stuffed frog. No, not a cute little stuffed animal, but a real frog which had been skinned and lined, and been sewed to a purse handle. Thankfully our dog chewed it up a few weeks later, because frog skinned purses aren’t, nor ever will be, on the cutting edge of fashion, or on my wish list. (The freshwater pearls also included were however.)   

My Jesus knows me. He knows me so well that He emboldens verses in my readings that press deeply into my heart. Daily He reveals His beauty in the created world to me. My Jesus sees me—His gaze knows me so well. Ivy says to us from her buckled seat, “Don’t you think it’s scary that God can see us all the time?”

                We are quiet. Melanie answers, “Wouldn’t it be scarier if He didn’t?”

                My Jesus doesn’t miss a thing, He is intimately involved in my life.

                My longing lies in being known truly. A gift isn’t about expense, show, or occasion. It can be a handmade card penned with kindness. Romance is demonstrated in careful choosing, a gift that proves knowing well, and loving truly. Our I AM knows us better than we know ourselves. He has given the greatest gift of all. How can a Creator not know His handiwork, down to the last detail? He tells me I am worth knowing. Aren’t all of His creations worth knowing, worth loving? For they are our gifts from Him too.

James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

                Lord, may I know you intimately through Your word. May it be a two way conversation, and may I listen with both ears. May I seek to give to You what You desire. May I seek out what pleases You. May I demonstrate Your love to others through eyes that see ways to bless, ears that hear and meet needs, and a heart to know and love. I couldn’t ask for a better Father. I couldn’t ask for a better gift than what You’ve given. 

My love sonnet from Him today are the ones He has given me to love.

Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts alive.

Day 11: What we lack in love, in romance, is what ultimately always draws us back to Him.  

Day 12: Romance takes preparation. Our hearts need to be made ready for love. 

Day 13: Romance is a pearl of great price, worth investing in. 

Day 14: Romance is loving the imperfect, undeserving—and loving wholly. Romance casts no stones.

Day 15: Romance draws out beauty because being loved deeply radiates. 

Day 16: Romance is love talking through feelings, through a heart like His, which genuinely feels.

We have His Valentine: It Reads: Will You Be Mine?

Day 16 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge. 

I come from a family of relational women, relational and emotional. And this is not a bad thing, but I sometimes shy away from tears. I sometimes feel as if I cried them all out when things were bad and have no more left to shed. And I have these moments when I feel mean not to cry, when everyone else is. I feel tears that do not come. I have a good cry about once a year-- once a year too often my husband says.  :)

 And I have moments where I just want to laugh. I come from a long line of laughers too. My dad was one of the worst. We could really get our Sunday pew shaking with stifled laughter… Like when an older gentlemen at our church would repeatedly fall asleep on the other side of the isle. And as he would, his Bible would drop off his lap. He’d wake and bend down to pick it up and clunk his head on the pew in front of him, then pick up his bible and fall asleep again, only to repeat the process a few minutes later. And then there was the time that a friend was playing a saxophone music special, only her younger brother had stuffed a whole plastic tablecloth into her instrument, and she was turning purple just to get a few duck-squawks out of the thing. Oh, how our pew shook. My dad was sentimental. He cried easy and laughed easy. There was the family wedding where the officiator, my uncle, very solemnly asked the groom, “Do you have the finger?” My Aunt Mary dug in her purse for a long time to hide her wobbling, laughing shoulders.

                Emotions are messy and beautiful. They seem to tell the world, “I’m alive here. I live, I breathe, I feel.” Emotions are our way of relating with life. Because life is relational. Our lives are in each moment a relationship between us and our Maker, whether we run from those moments or not.

                I am never surprised to feel emotions in my relationship with my Jesus, to feel it in my heart. I feel awe, love, fear, wonder, sorrow (at my own sin), joy, excitement, passion. But it takes me back that our God has feelings too.

Ezekiel 6:9 “And they that escape of you shall remember me among the nations whither they shall be carried captives, because I am broken with their whorish heart, which hath departed from me, and with their eyes, which go a whoring after their idols: and they shall lothe themselves for the evils which they have committed in all their abominations.”

The word for broken is: shâbar: broken hearted, crushed, or hurt.

I am capable of hurting God’s feelings, breaking His heart. I am in a relationship with a passionate God, a God who can be pleased, angered, sorrowed-- who can rejoice, have joy, --a God who can also be hurt.

Hosea 11:8 How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? how shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? how shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart [Labe: a form of the heart; also used very widely for the feelings] is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together.

 

In 1839 Professor Finney writes:

 “He [God] must feel, or he is not virtuous. Virtue cannot consist in the mere abstractions of the intellect, but belongs to the heart. And an intellect without moral feeling cannot be virtuous.”

“…His grace manifested in the Atonement, is the highest possible demonstration that he has all the feelings ascribed to him in the Bible, and in an infinite degree. Did he not really love sinners, could he make so great a sacrifice to save them? Were he not angry at sin--were he not infinitely just and inflexible in maintaining the principles of his government, could he have given his Son to die as their substitute, rather than pardon them without an Atonement? We certainly should consider it the highest possible evidence of love in a human being to give himself or his son to die for us.”

As humbling as it is, I know that God desires a relationship with me. And I know that this relationship, like in any romance, is a two way interaction. Only, while I am very capable of hurting Him-- He will never hurt me. It was by His perfect design that we in turn desire relationships with one another,  that we yearn for deep, meaningful relationships, especially with our spouse.

Romance has been argued to be a poor word choice for what are a series of obedience actions in marriage. It is argued that a husband may never feel like being loving, yet he will because he knows he ought to. And while the heart, and its emotions, can follow the habits of actions, how can love be heartless? How can it be so uninvolving when we were created to love with all our heart, soul and mind? God doesn’t want anything half-hearted. He searches the world, to and fro, looking for whole heartedness. 2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” Jeremiah 29:13 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” And so romance must be genuine, must be poured from the mind, but also the heart and soul. God doesn’t go for middle of the road nonsense ,“So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” We don’t fall for it either, or rather we do.-- We see it in fallen marriages crumbling all around us. Romance expects more, because romances seeks the whole heart.

"You are made for romance, and the only one who can offer it to you consistently and deeply is Jesus." – John and Staci Eldridge

Romance is a relationship: between me and the Lord, between me and my spouse, and between me and anyone that I extend Christ’s love to. Romance is love talking through feelings, through a heart like His, which genuinely feels.

Lord, may I seek to strengthen the relationships You’ve given me, strengthen the cords of my marriage through genuine, heart-feeling love. May I never grow cold, the fire never go out, its red coals protected through the night, fanned to flame each day. Lord, may I be whole hearted in loving You. May I keep our relationship sacred, never again hurt You as deeply as when my sins nailed You on the cross. May I be ever seeking You, seeking out our relationship, so that it grows and is fruit bearing. May I be walking down the isle as Your bride, ever nearing the altar. 

Brotherly and Sisterly love...

My love sonnet from Him today: that He feels love for me as I do for Him, only much, much greater.  I am in a relationship with a God who desires my heart.

 Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel.  

Day 11: What we lack in love, in romance, is what ultimately always draws us back to Him.  

Day 12: Romance takes preparation. Our hearts need to be made ready for love. 

Day 13: Romance is a pearl of great price, worth investing in. 

Day 14: Romance is loving the imperfect, undeserving—and loving wholly. Romance casts no stones.

Day 15: Romance draws out beauty because being loved deeply radiates.

Romance Draws Out Beauty.

Day 15 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge. 

Love has a transforming power. Love transforms cold, sin-hardened hearts into scarlet red hearts, warm and alive. Love transforms bitterness into forgiveness. Love transforms shame into assurance, anger into gentleness.

“Biblical love is efficacious. They [men] are to love their wives, knowing that this is going to have an effect in the realm of the spirit. As a wife cultivates a gentle and quiet spirit, she becomes increasingly beautiful. He treats her in the way of Christ in all things, both great and little. She grows in beauty, and this beauty is alluring to her husband.” –Douglas Wilson

I wonder that Christ can love me as His bride with such a beautifying love.

He says it is so:

“and you shall be called by a new name
   that the mouth of the LORD will give.
³You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
   and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
⁴ You shall no more be termed Forsaken,
   and your land shall no more be termed Desolate,
 but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
   and your land Married;
for the LORD delights in you,
   and your land shall be married.
⁵For as a young man marries a young woman,
   so shall your sons marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
   so shall your God rejoice over you.” –Isaiah 62:2-5

There is no question that God’s love transforms beauty from my sin-caved heart. God’s love makes all things beautiful. His love transforms leprous hands into clean ones, restores the fevered body to health, turns the tempest into stillness, the fearful into peaceful. Jesus’ love transforms paralytic legs to dance, converts cheaters into companions. He makes beautiful the woman who bled, who is restored, changes death into mere resting, brings seeing beauty to once blind eyes. He gives words to the mute, stretches out the withered hands, fills empty stomachs with bread and fish, changes death sentences to eternal hope. Jesus’ love does nothing but make us more beautiful if we partake of Him.

“What more, you may ask, do we want? … We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.” —C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

How do we pass into this realm of  beauty? Through His enveloping love. But His love doesn’t end there, for when we believe in Him, abide in Him, then we live in His love and begin to love others deeply. And being loved deeply radiates. Someone once said, "You don't love a woman because she's beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her." Romance draws out beauty, because right love always makes us lovelier.

Beauty is defined in the dictionary as the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind. Here, beauty doesn’t radiate from the heart. True beauty is in the mind, in the perception, and comes from the true knowledge that we are deeply and passionately loved—first and greatest by God. David Taylor speaks of beauty this way, “But always, the effect of beauty upon us will be the same—to evoke longing for the Source of all beauties.” When we reflect even a glimmer of His beauty into others, this beauty serves no other purpose but the glorify Him and draw others closer to His love. This is beautiful.

Macduff Everton said, “There is a difference between pretty and beautiful.  Beauty can astonish us. Inspire us.  Make us dance.  Make us weep.  Beauty can be magical.  Beauty can transform us.  Beauty lets our soul sing.  Beauty can have such depth that you don’t even notice at first, or ever.” 

This beauty, coming from the One who is worshiped, coming from the One who is the most beautiful of all, coming from the One who created it, cannot be denied. Beauty is His essence. And if I am called to be ever drawing near, striving to be an imitator of Him, how can I undervalue this beauty rubbing off on me?  Why do I seek to cover it with thick garments of “character”? Beauty is a garment of its own, and true beauty holds no need for covering. Jesus words say it best, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me.” And when I reflect beauty back to the Beautiful, my life is a fragrant offering, a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him. I am humbled that He can find any beauty in me it all. But He sees beauty, He sees the “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,” which He says is very precious in His sight.

God’s love not only beautifies, but it asks me to love and be loved, to share His essence with others. It allows me to reflect it back to Him. In Exodus we see seven chapters filled with our God’s design plan for His tabernacle. He calls people by name, specifically imparts abilities in them to create beauty for Him. And He has given us all our own abilities too, abilities which when done for Him, are our own offerings of beauty for His glory. He gives us all the ability to love, because He has commanded it of us all. And in loving, beauty is grown.  

Solomon, one of the greatest lovers of all, captures this beautifying love:

 ^“8Prize her highly, and she will exalt you;
   she will honor you if you embrace her.
⁹She will place on your head a graceful garland;
   she will bestow on you a beautiful crown."- Proverbs 4:8-10

In romance, the more we are loved, the more we bestow loveliness. The more we love, the more we are made beautiful through our actions, the more we bring beauty to others. True romance brings beauty. For true love is but a pale picture of the love between Christ and His bride.

Ephesians 5:25-29

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. ²⁸In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church…”

Lord, help me to love deeply. Help me to believe wholly, believe in Your love. Help me to live beautiful; for though I am ashes, You turn them into beauty. I praise You, Lord for You are the Beautiful One. May Your beauty be all I seek. Lord, there is no other name that I want, than to be called, “My Delight Is in Her.”

                               reflections of His beauty

               living beautifully

 My love sonnet today is in Your transforming love, in Your words that say You are making something beautiful of me. 

Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel.  

Day 11: What we lack in love, in romance, is what ultimately always draws us back to Him.  

Day 12: Romance takes preparation. Our hearts need to be made ready for love. 

Day 13: Romance is a pearl of great price, worth investing in. 

Day 14: Romance is loving the imperfect, undeserving—and loving wholly. Romance casts no stones.

Romance Casts No Stones.

Day 14 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge. 

I was awoken from my bed; men, claiming religious authority-- they came in and pulled me out from my home, roughly yanking at my clothes and pushing me toward the temple. The sun beat down onto my scalp, the world swayed around me as my feet stumbled and drug to keep up. Cries of adultery spit in my face, until I was shoved into His presence. In my disheveled garments, I felt naked.

They cried, "this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?”

My face burned scarlet, hot, thick tears ran down my face as I braced for the sharp sting of the rock against my skin. I winced from the Man’s gaze.

But He kept His eyes down. He was quiet, drawing something in the sand. Did He hear them? I stood waiting as if time itself was in His hands. My shoulders trembled.

Then with His gentle eyes, He looked up, seemed to look into each heart all at once. “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”

One by one, they all left. The oldest, the youngest, all were gone until it was just Him and I-- alone. My tear streaked face looked shamefully up to Him. He stood and asked me, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

I answered, “No one, Lord.”

I stood before the One without sin. The One man who could have thrown a stone. He could have reached for one. I deserved it. But He looked at me with love. He said, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

It was me there, you too, standing before Christ, accused. Accused: katēgoros-- specifically Satan-- the accuser. He is always the accuser, and he uses the voices in the crowd to tell us our identity, only his message is only half right: Iam the sinner, but am no longer bound to that life. He must take me before Christ to throw stones. In Him I have a new name, a new identity. I am no longer condemned. I am loved deeply, because that is what He is. The accuser has no more stones to throw.

Jesus gives me my identity. His love affirms. He takes away my black letters of sin, and pins on His scarlet letters: F for forgiven, R for redeemed, C for child of God, B for beautiful-- L for loved. The one who could condemn, He gives me a new identity. He wraps me in His cloak, so that I have access to the Father in His name.

¹⁹ “Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, ²⁰ by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, ²¹ and since we have a great priest over the house of God, ²² let us draw near to God with a sincere heart…” (Hebrews 10)

Love gives us a new name, new identity. I walked to the front of a chapel, May 12^th, 2001 as Amy Joy Udd, and came out on his arm, as Mrs. Evan Lamson—a new name. And I carry His name too. A great romance gives us a new identity.

2 Corinthians 2:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

I ask for affirmation, do you love me? The woman at the well questioned if Christ knew her identity at all. She was a Samaritan woman. Why would a Jew associate with her? “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” She knew her identity. And He gave her a new one. He gave her hope in His identity. She said to Him, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” 

Jesus answers her, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” 

His love answers to our deepest fears. When I’ve been called unlovable, He speaks to me holding no stones. When words of love, of worth have been silent, He speaks to me through His word calling me: beautiful, lovable.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. –Psalm 45:11 

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.” — Zephaniah 3:17

Lord, may I look to You for love. May I look to You for identity. And may I live in it. May I not hide behind a veil of shame, wince from the stones, shy away from love. But may I love, may I affirm all new identities You give to others through purest love. May my life affirm to the world what You died for. May my life affirm to my children how loved by You they are. May I never bring them to Your feet accusing. May I never bring my husband to Your feet, placing a stone in Your hand. May I never cast rocks. May I just love. May I stop looking at old identities; accusations fall silent from my lips. Help me to speak to the new creations. This is the purest form of romance found in Your words today, showing unconditional love to the sinner, because we all are. I have no stones to cast. Romance is loving the imperfect, undeserving—and loving wholly. Because You, who were perfect, did not cast a stone.

Your love sonnet to me today, words spoken as much to my heart as much as hers, “Neither do I condemn you.” My love sonnet: having a new identity, as His bride.  

“In Christ Alone”

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel.  

Day 11: What we lack in love, in romance, is what ultimately always draws us back to Him.  

Day 12: Romance takes preparation. Our hearts need to be made ready for love. 

Day 13: Romance is a pearl of great price, worth investing in.  

Romance: a Pearl of Great Worth.

Day 13 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge. 

 

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Matthew 13:44-46

The best date I’ve ever been taken on was at the end of a crummy day. I mean a really crummy, caring for my dad, seeing him in pain, yet helpless, could care less about anything “normal” kind of day. My sister brought me home a new outfit from VonMaur, helped me to get dolled, and my husband-to-be arrived with roses, one for each month we’d been dating. He had the evening all planned out, and it was a surprise. I love being surprised. It says all over it that someone took the time to know me, what I love, and put forth the effort to make it happen. Well, we showed up at a little studio where he had hired for a private swing dance lesson for us. I’d always wanted to learn, and it felt magical in the cool winter eve with the lights shining over the gleaming wooden floors, music playing, while we danced, alone and oblivious to the rest of the world for that space of time. He took me for a wonderful dinner out, and escorted me home in time to spend a late evening with my family too. I have one little picture tucked away of the night, but the memory is held dear in my heart for always.

Romance holds dear. Romance is worth the investment; genuine love is always worth showing. If it’s the ten minutes it takes for me to make my husband a lunch with a note tucked inside, or pull out the trash from his truck, or kiss him when he walks through the door, whatever-- Truly loving is always worth the investment.

Jesus invested in the lives around Him constantly during His ministry. Even when He was tired, or retreating, …”He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself. But when the multitudes heard it, they followed Him…when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them…” (Matthew 14.) His friend had just been murdered-- perfect reason to want to be alone, to want to stop investing in others. But He didn’t. Even on the worst days, He healed, invested in the lives of perfect strangers. While dying on the cross, He invested, saying: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."^[Lk. 23:34] and, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."^[Lk. 23:43]

Lord, may I invest all that I am, all that I have in You. May I invest my heart, my life, in Your service. May I live to invest in “things above.” Lord, may I invest in the hearts around me. May I invest in raising my children, in guarding their hearts, invest in my marriage. For these gifts are a pearl of great price. Give me the wisdom to sell my field, to look outward instead of inward; the grace to mostly look upward.

Romance is a delicate garden, that if tended will grow and flourish, and if passed by will turn to weed and thorn. Jesus lived with eyes wide open, knew how to invest. May I strive for nothing less.

My love sonnet from Him today—that to Him, I was worth the investment. I was worth dying for. 

 (Four little hearts I find worth investing in.)

"He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’ ²³ His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord." Matthew 25. 

Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel.  

Day 11: What we lack in love, in romance, is what ultimately always draws us back to Him.  

Day 12: Romance takes preparation. Our hearts need to be made ready for love. 

Romancing your spouse as part of the challenge? Here are a few ways to invest in him:

Frame a picture of the two of you, and display it as a reminder of the one you chose to invest in.

Invest in a date.

Invest in showing your kids (if you’ve got them) the love you have for their daddy.

A little Rouge, A Little Perfume, Too Little Primping Time Before Church.

Day 12 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge. 

Yes, I was the girl who was very determined that my husband should never see me without make-up or my hair done up. I paint my nails and curl my hair before going to deliver my babies. After all, this is an occasion for lots of pictures, right? I am the girl who now on Sunday mornings is ready the quickest of them all. It’s on Sundays that people ask if I’ve done something different with my hair. And every time I smile because I am know that all they see is a lighter shade of blond—the washed clean shade. My makeup bag comes on the drive to church with me. Beforehand, I am far too busy finding hair bows, brushing out tangles, searching for eight matching shoes, little purses, too busy with diaper changes and wiping little hands and faces after breakfast. My prep time is at most10 percent of what it once was.

But beauty takes prep time. So does romance. Our hearts need to be made ready for love.

1 Corinthians 11:28

“A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.”

Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.“

 

Jesus asks that we prepare our hearts for Him. We must clean out the filth, must make room in our hearts for His presence. He asks that we rid our hearts of bitterness, unforgiveness, before we can offer our hearts to Him, share in true communion. And it is much the same when we invite in love. I cannot fully love my husband, my family-- friends, until I’ve “cleaned up” starting on the inside. Inner beauty treatments aren’t over rated. 

 

When my heart is prepared, I don’t have to hold back, don’t have to hide behind any walls. When my heart has been fully swept clean at Jesus’ feet, I can invite company past the doorstep. When anger and hurt have been unbandaged, confessed, Jesus’ salve can heal the wounds. 

 

Jesus spent six hours dying on the cross. Six hours preparing for the greatest demonstration of love that is ever to be known by man. To truly love others first takes an emptying of me. How much time does it take to die to self? That is how long preparation for the truest love, truest romance takes. 

 

We can never be close to those holding the trash bags of our heart. It will stink when we are near. We must give love room to breathe. Love must be fragrant. We must first give Him room to fill our hearts with His love.

 

Lord Jesus, may reconciliation be a pearl of beauty in my heart. My I reconcile myself heart, soul, and mind to You. May I have communion with the hearts dearest, by laying the hurts and rotting bitterness in Your hands—Your hands which make all things beautiful. Help me take time for beauty treatments, for preparation of my heart.

 

Ecclesiastes 3:11”He hath made everything beautiful in its time: also he hath set eternity in their heart.”

 

 

(At least the boy is easy to get ready for outings)

My love sonnet from You: that You are preparing for me too. “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

 

Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel.  

Day 11: What we lack in love, in romance, is what ultimately always draws us back to Him.  

 

 

Love Draws Us Into His Arms.

Day 11 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge. 

I’m sitting here among three little dreamers, and one little anti-mushy boy. Enchanted is playing on the screen, with Giselle singing, “How do you tell her you love her? How does she know?” She’s twirling in her made-from-curtains dress, and it’s all just how we women wish it would be—seeing her as a part of a pair, as “made for one another” as Adam and Eve. Do I tell them that if they walk upstairs in their happily ever after castle, they are sure to find a sink full of dishes, laundry baskets brimming over, a stack of bills to be paid, doctor appointments to schedule, and old things smelling in the back of the fridge? Do I tell them that life tries its best to rob them all of the fairy tale endings?

I remember at eighteen, with a shiny engagement ring on my finger, I’d been warned often that being married was hard, very hard, and that it wouldn’t always feel “this” way. And I knew that what they were saying was probably true, but I just couldn’t believe them. I couldn’t let go of my dreams, my hope. It all felt so perfect, and I believed in happily ever after endings.

I still do. I’m looking forward to the best ending of all, walking on streets of gold, living in a mansion, prepared for me. (And NO dirty floors to wash or dishes, hallelujah!) I am beholding, no, a part of the most beautiful love story. I have a King coming to claim me as His bride. Each day I live is in preparation for my wedding day, a daily beautification for the moment of His arrival.

In an article on infatuation, Ningthoujam Sandhyarani writes, “In infatuation, one feels only emotion; on the other hand, both emotion and devotion are involved in real love.” Rarely will you encounter anyone who is looking for the artificial—just the emotions, we long for both: emotion and devotion.

In a very insightful article by Terri L. Saunders, she writes, “Oxytocin is the bonding chemical.  The higher the level of oxytocin, the more empathic and less aggressive the individual will be.  Oxytocin also links the verbal centers in the brain and stimulates a nurturing response with others.  Higher levels of oxytocin in women enable them to be good mothers and respond to the emotional needs of their spouse, children and friends.” And the wonder in all this scientific information is that I am created distinctly feminine, designed exactly the way His hands fashioned me, with emotions, as a responder to others in this life. Men on the other hand, were created so differently. Saunder’s points out, “A man’s pursuit of self-worth and personal power is such a life-driving force, that in most cases it takes priority over intimacy.  If a man has developed a strong sense of self as a man, he is better able to participate in a healthy intimate relationship with a woman.  She will feel his strength and derive nourishment from it.”

Finally she concludes, “In his book, ‘Intimate Communion,’ author David Deida explains… Women who desire a more sensitive, nurturing man may also miss the strong, passionate masculinity of the goal-driven male that was more prevalent in previous generations.  Men may be confused by a woman’s aggressiveness and desire to control him.  He walks a fine line between being the man she wants and offending her sensibilities.  According to Deida, intimate communion is achieved when women learn to be more comfortable with their feminine essence and men embrace their masculinity, while both partners maintain an appreciation for the other’s needs.”

And this brings me back to the book that says it best, says it first, and the Author who designed our hearts this way. He wrote in into the beginning of the story:

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Our fairy tale endings seek out oneness: oneness physically, emotionally and spiritually. But in an imperfect world, this is hard to come by. The missing pieces are what draws us to fulfillment in Him. He knows exactly what we are lacking in this life, because He created us for fullness in Him. He is the only One who can truly offer fulfillment in everyway. Even in love, in romance, we are ultimately always drawn back to Him.

My love sonnet from Him today is realizing this great heart’s need is by design. I was born to be drawn into His arms.

1 Peter 3:3-8

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— ⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God….Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;

Romancing your spouse as part of the: 21 Days of Romance Challenge?

Here are a few left-brained ideas to prove your love:

There is evidence that guys bond more through physical activity. Join him in one of his favorites: a bike ride, hike, game, or other adventure.

Back massage. (Should I type this in bold?)

Do something tangible for him: like a hair cut and shampoo, making his favorite batch of cookies, or cleaning out the garage.

Care to see where we've been on this 21 Days of Romance? (Seeking out romance in His word) You might like to see: 

Day 1: Gestures of affection are beautiful. There were beautiful to Jesus.

Day 2: Jesus teaches: if love amounts to anything, it's worth sacrifice, worth demonstrating.

Day 3: Romance is for feasting. For satisfying.

Day 4: What is love? Comfort. Because He does.

Day 5: God created us for romance. Will I choose it?

Day 6: Real romance doesn't give expectantly. It gives for His glory, not our own gain.

Day 7: He allures us, speaks to us tenderly.

Day 8: Hearts may feel lonely, but we are never really alone. Love never forsakes.

Day 9: Constant love is not a boring love. Constant love still looks for the gestures that awaken the heart to see and feel love.

Day 10: Love is anything but stony. Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel.