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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

We have His Valentine: It Reads: Will You Be Mine?


I come from a family of relational women, relational and emotional. And this is not a bad thing, but I sometimes shy away from tears. I sometimes feel as if I cried them all out when things were bad and have no more left to shed. And I have these moments when I feel mean not to cry, when everyone else is. I feel tears that do not come. I have a good cry about once a year-- once a year too often my husband says.  :)
 And I have moments where I just want to laugh. I come from a long line of laughers too. My dad was one of the worst. We could really get our Sunday pew shaking with stifled laughter… Like when an older gentlemen at our church would repeatedly fall asleep on the other side of the isle. And as he would, his Bible would drop off his lap. He’d wake and bend down to pick it up and clunk his head on the pew in front of him, then pick up his bible and fall asleep again, only to repeat the process a few minutes later. And then there was the time that a friend was playing a saxophone music special, only her younger brother had stuffed a whole plastic tablecloth into her instrument, and she was turning purple just to get a few duck-squawks out of the thing. Oh, how our pew shook. My dad was sentimental. He cried easy and laughed easy. There was the family wedding where the officiator, my uncle, very solemnly asked the groom, “Do you have the finger?” My Aunt Mary dug in her purse for a long time to hide her wobbling, laughing shoulders.
                Emotions are messy and beautiful. They seem to tell the world, “I’m alive here. I live, I breathe, I feel.” Emotions are our way of relating with life. Because life is relational. Our lives are in each moment a relationship between us and our Maker, whether we run from those moments or not.
                I am never surprised to feel emotions in my relationship with my Jesus, to feel it in my heart. I feel awe, love, fear, wonder, sorrow (at my own sin), joy, excitement, passion. But it takes me back that our God has feelings too.

Ezekiel 6:9 “And they that escape of you shall remember me among the nations whither they shall be carried captives, because I am broken with their whorish heart, which hath departed from me, and with their eyes, which go a whoring after their idols: and they shall lothe themselves for the evils which they have committed in all their abominations.”

The word for broken is: shâbar: broken hearted, crushed, or hurt.

I am capable of hurting God’s feelings, breaking His heart. I am in a relationship with a passionate God, a God who can be pleased, angered, sorrowed-- who can rejoice, have joy, --a God who can also be hurt.

Hosea 11:8 How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? how shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? how shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart [Labe: a form of the heart; also used very widely for the feelings] is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together.
 
In 1839 Professor Finney writes:
 “He [God] must feel, or he is not virtuous. Virtue cannot consist in the mere abstractions of the intellect, but belongs to the heart. And an intellect without moral feeling cannot be virtuous.”
“…His grace manifested in the Atonement, is the highest possible demonstration that he has all the feelings ascribed to him in the Bible, and in an infinite degree. Did he not really love sinners, could he make so great a sacrifice to save them? Were he not angry at sin--were he not infinitely just and inflexible in maintaining the principles of his government, could he have given his Son to die as their substitute, rather than pardon them without an Atonement? We certainly should consider it the highest possible evidence of love in a human being to give himself or his son to die for us.”

As humbling as it is, I know that God desires a relationship with me. And I know that this relationship, like in any romance, is a two way interaction. Only, while I am very capable of hurting Him-- He will never hurt me. It was by His perfect design that we in turn desire relationships with one another,  that we yearn for deep, meaningful relationships, especially with our spouse.

Romance has been argued to be a poor word choice for what are a series of obedience actions in marriage. It is argued that a husband may never feel like being loving, yet he will because he knows he ought to. And while the heart, and its emotions, can follow the habits of actions, how can love be heartless? How can it be so uninvolving when we were created to love with all our heart, soul and mind? God doesn’t want anything half-hearted. He searches the world, to and fro, looking for whole heartedness. 2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” Jeremiah 29:13 “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” And so romance must be genuine, must be poured from the mind, but also the heart and soul. God doesn’t go for middle of the road nonsense ,“So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” We don’t fall for it either, or rather we do.-- We see it in fallen marriages crumbling all around us. Romance expects more, because romances seeks the whole heart.

"You are made for romance, and the only one who can offer it to you consistently and deeply is Jesus." – John and Staci Eldridge

Romance is a relationship: between me and the Lord, between me and my spouse, and between me and anyone that I extend Christ’s love to. Romance is love talking through feelings, through a heart like His, which genuinely feels.

Lord, may I seek to strengthen the relationships You’ve given me, strengthen the cords of my marriage through genuine, heart-feeling love. May I never grow cold, the fire never go out, its red coals protected through the night, fanned to flame each day. Lord, may I be whole hearted in loving You. May I keep our relationship sacred, never again hurt You as deeply as when my sins nailed You on the cross. May I be ever seeking You, seeking out our relationship, so that it grows and is fruit bearing. May I be walking down the isle as Your bride, ever nearing the altar. 

Brotherly and Sisterly love...

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