Love Sonnets from God: Cinder Days, When Cinderella Doesn't Make it to the Castle.

Day 18 of the 21 Days of Romance Challenge.

There are days with less than romance. And attempted romance… Spitting out the sip of wine in my mouth that a fly had flown into, lighting candles that melted all over the floor, a child’s hand at the doorknob in the night. Non romance threatens my everyday existence: unmade beds, crying children, dirty toilets, sinks full of dishes. There are very many days when Cinderella never made it to the castle, days of cinders.

Sometimes romance wanes; runs thin. Would it be a lie to admit this of most days? And days pass in functional swirls like waves, and I forget to climb into the crow’s nest, above it all, and be on the lookout for it. Forget to set out my nets to capture it. And when I don’t, I pass it by.

Jesus returned to His hometown. He was not known. The people were looking for a carpenter’s son, for a poor Jewish brother, an uneducated son of a woman named Mary. They took offense that He was not the man they were looking for. He was much, much greater. He knew more then them, could do more then they could. He could work miracles. They missed out on Him altogether. Matthew pens the outcome: “And he did not do many mighty works there, because of their unbelief.” (Matthew 13)

I read these words quietly. I wonder if I’ve stopped God from wooing me, stopped His mighty works in my own life? Lord, have I been looking for a carpenter’s son, and missed the hand of the Son of God in my life? Have I been looking for my own version of the Groom, and of my groom? My own version of love? Have I let my hands soak in the dishwater too long?

Jesus tells those people gathered round, the unseeing: Luke 4:²⁴And he said, "Truly, I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his hometown. ²⁵But in truth, I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heavens were shut up three years and six months, and a great famine came over all the land, ²⁶and Elijah was sent to none of them but only to Zarephath, in the land of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow. ²⁷And there were many lepers in Israel in the time of the prophet Elisha, and none of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian." ²⁸When they heard these things, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath. ²⁹And they rose up and drove him out of the town and brought him to the brow of the hill on which their town was built, so that they could throw him down the cliff. ³⁰Butpassing through their midst, he went away.

These last words haunt me. He comes to the believing-- He will not come where He is not wanted. Doubt diminishes. Doubt disrespects Love. Disrespect roots out the works of His hand. They never gave Him the respect due His name, never gave Him the praise due His work, never gave Him the honor due His position. He offered them everything until He was rejected. Then He passed through their midst, went away. He chose one widow, chose one leper. He chooses those who recognize Him, respect Him. Over two decades ago a little girl sitting in a tea party in her grandmother's back yard chose Him, chose to daily love Him. Over a decade ago a young teen bride stood next to her groom. She chose him, and he chose her to pour into the mighty work of love.

If love comes from believing, from faithfulness, than it is uprooted in faithlessness, in doubt, in disrespect. I question when I’ve missed His mighty works because I was looking in the wrong direction, missed His whispers in my ear because I was listening to the sound of my own voice. I wonder how often I’ve disrespected Him by not seeing Him for who He really is, what He has really done for me. I wonder when I’ve denied the romance offered to me in marriage because I was looking for it under a shiny bow. How often have I doubted? How often has disrespect trampled across the delicate garden?

I picture the bride. Have I expected even the groom to rise as I pass by? My eyes should be fixed only upon Him. He asks of a bride: “that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33. This isn't asked on behalf of my husband only, it is asked on behalf of Him. And when I’ve lost sight of Him, has He been passing through my midst? When I’ve lost sight of my heart, have I let it weed? Have I lost sight of him too; didn’t know what I was looking for?

Lord, help me to pluck out weeds of disappointment, weeds of bitterness, hurt, and idolizing of it. Help me to stop stereotyping love. Help me to stop looking for a carpenter’s son, and doubting that my proposal has come from a King. Help me to stop uprooting love offered-- by plowing though with doubts of love-- disrespecting it. Lord, help me to pluck out all romance chokers; to love with respect for my groom, for You. Help me to recognize You in every way You reveal Yourself to me. Help me never to diminish Your work in my life because of disbelief, never to diminish my husband’s love for me because of disrespect. Help romance to flourish—romance, the ability to see his heart more clearly, to see Yours most of all; to recognize Love in my midst.