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Monday, September 26, 2011

Love Feels.



What is romance, if not the language the heart speaks, its awakening, its longings?  I’ve heard so often that feelings don’t count, don’t matter. And as a woman, I feel a sort of shame of them. And while the horse shouldn’t pull the cart, I am left empty if I consider that God created in me feelings that I shouldn’t feel, like a bird told not to sing, or a flower not to blossom.

And then I read this: Matthew 22:15 “Then He said to them, “With fervent desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer” The word for desire is epithumeō, which means: to set the heart upon, that is, long for … Our Jesus longed for the companionship of His closest friends. And He longed fervently.

I too long. We all do.

We read that Jesus wept, that He loved. He was joyful. He was angry, exasperated at times. He felt fear, longed for companionship. He was tired. In His human nature, He never sinned by feeling these ways, but He did feel. Love feels. It feels the pain of loss, it feels the joy in sharing love, feels the comfort of being loved. Love is anything but stony. Love cannot come from hardened hearts.

Love comes from hearts that are receptive, hearts that still feel. The problem with feelings is that they often lie, manipulate, and steal.  And we can choose which feelings we wear, choose which feelings we believe. My husband may tell me I look beautiful 100 times before I see his glance catch upon me, and without words I finally believe him.  Our hearts still look for convincing, because ultimately our hearts feel.

Our Jesus did not sin when he was angry. He did not sin, no matter how he felt. But He did feel. And He did desire-- long for people.  I long for companionship, long for love, long for convincing. But if all of that is but a shadow to my deepest longing for a relationship with my living Savior—than I think birds can sing in the background.

Love romances because love feels. And He made it that way.



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